Home » A sailor in suburban Coronavirus Lock down. What could go wrong?

lock down can bring with it a degree of unrecognizable personal strangeness

So, what happens to an adult man from whose career is on rivers and oceans most of the year, when he is forced to take solo shelter on land during Coronavirus lock down?

coronavirus lockdown as a sailor

Okay, so I cannot claim to be a mariner in the true sense of the word, but I am living the life of a sailor. Working on ships as a cruise/program director 8 months of the year would qualify, I’m sure. I really do not remember when last I have remained in one solitary place on land this long. Years ago, definitely.

Lock Down revelation

Looked in the mirror today. I mean, like I really looked. Usually I pass by a shower steamed mirror during this lockdown and check with a cursory glance at the small hand wiped area on the glass. Did I say small hand? No…I meant that really big hand wipe…. Never mind…

coronavirus lockdown

“Who the hell is that?” I said aloud. Shocking! I have regressed into a Neanderthal. With my significant other absent in another land of lockup, I have no feminine input to warden my appearance. I am a man alone with his dogs. My entire house has become a man-cave.
I Love Life!

I forgot to shave for 3 days. Only a sudden itching reminded me of that fact.  My hair is creeping like wild vine towards a new style of  artistic follicle explosion that Einstein would be proud of (Probably Boris too)

Coronavirus countdown Today is…Monday…no Tuesday. Crapola! Check the calendar. No. It’s Wednesday. Wednesday! That’s insane. What happened to Monday and Tuesday? Time to change the sweatpants. I think I have been getting into them since Friday…or was that Thursday? Blah

My manly instincts of boyhood regression are in full lock down flow

I am doing stuff I never did and doing things I always wanted to do. I am playing like a kid.  Getting a dog again was one thing I ached for.

I really missed having a dog. Lock down melted any resistance and I went and got a Siberian puppy that I named MyZen. (Turns out she is).

Then, out of guilt for getting a pure breed, I got MyZen a playmate. A rescue pup of indeterminate and a highly questionable Heinz 57 of breeds .

His name is Marshal. Turns out he is half Jackal. No kidding! Vet reckons some Jackal had his way with mummy at one time. Great!

So I have the lady and the wild tramp as pets.

The lady and the tramp

My Husky cues me on food and playtime. My Jackal gives me a look…which is enough of a hint that it might be me who is for dinner if I don’t feed him. Speaking of which, I timetable my meals with the dogs. That way I remember to eat.

Just to be clear, I do make my own dinner and not eat the dog food, although I could argue some of my experimental dishes are probably far worse than that something resembling foodstuff that’s in the dogs bowl.

Boy time…

When it comes to digital games…I have had wayyy too much time on my hands and have perfected the skill-set

Playstation

I have become world champion-awesome at FIFA on PlayStation. I beat Barcelona, Man United and Paris Saint-Germain by double digits. I play with Man City because they are my team. (No haters please).

I am also, I think, a Rotten Tomatoes worthy critic viewer of Netflix. I am now down to the Russian dubbed to English movies, watching mouths move in oddly contorted fashion when they say anything. Weird. What is even more weird is that I enjoy them.

clueless in suburbiaI have discovered I am totally clueless in suburbia. My long departure from normal everyday life since working on ships gains me curious looks when I ask apparently dumb questions. The expressions returned, range from pity or panic that I might be an escapee from an institution.

The Coronavirus lock down social media shuffle

Skype, Whatapp, Twitter, Instagram, FB, Viber and, the latest addition – Zoom. These have become the most common twine that threads my day together. The vernacular in my language has expanded now with the new addition of Zoom.

 “Can you hear me?” “Are you on mute?” “You are on mute” “Unmute your mic” or the atomic warning alert “Mute your mic!!!!” echoes from my study.

The Zoom app has probably been the most invasive and profound aspect of my lock down life. One good thing is that any Zoom date means I actually have to attempt a grooming session.

Truth be told, the gel is heavy duty industrial strength to tame the mop. Eye drops are handy to clear evidence of late game playing nights and softer lighting assists.

Zoom catsThanks to Zoom, I have a new phobia of cats. If I see one more cat face put in the camera lens or a feline lifted like a trophy for all to see ….

I also find those virtual backgrounds annoying…I mean, I spend more time wondering what they are hiding than paying attention to what they say.

I have discovered, like many, the awkward pause at the end of a meeting totally excruciating. The stilted goodbyes and freaky, uncomfortable smiles.

Now I have it down. Thanks-Bye-Off!

And on that subject of uncomfortable. Am I the only one that feels a bit creeped out that anyone of those boxed Brady Bunch-like participants could be examining me more intensely than I would enjoy? I hate not knowing!
Ok, maybe it’s just me.

 

lock down looks

Then there’s a parade of party crashing kids, animals, tree felling saw sounds and the shuddering pneumatic drills in the background…In this short time, I think I have seen it all.
I am Zoomed out.

family hell

Coronavirus Lock down productivity

“So, sailor, what have you really been doing?” she asked, tantalizingly, through a naughty smile

(Okay, I have been alone too long)

With all that playtime and Zooming, believe it or not, somewhat ironically, I have never been more productive in my life. Sure, it’s all head stuff mainly. But it is uber-cool. Who knew there were so many hours in the day?

spiritual lock downI spend my time doing mind expanding and spiritual soul flexing courses. I kid myself that my 30 mins of German lessons a day are coming on great. I am working on my Excel skills and discovering just how unskilled I am at it.

I write articles and posts for my website. I workout in my home gym. I watch the news and have consequently concluded I am a masochist for doing so.

The most interesting discovery for me as a result of this Coronavirus lock down, is that I really am living in the NOW.  I am not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday.. I am just being.

I think I was a kid the last time I managed to live the NOW. It really is so exciting. At the risk of sounding melodramatic,  I think I have heightened senses to everything.

I smell the memories of childhood, that of wet leaves, musty books and damp dog fur. I even spent an hour watching ants crawl up and down the wall the other day.

It’s been a trip!

Look, honestly, this is all chill and earthy. But I do miss my structure, my people, my work and cannot wait to travel after this Coronavirus pandemic. . Like all of us, I’m sure. We need to get out and do stuff

Too much weekend everyday tells me it is time that this sailor gets back to water. (Don’t worry about the dogs. They have a family member who they love when I’m not around).

Please feel free to leave a comment or your experiences of lock down below

3 thoughts on “A sailor in suburban Coronavirus Lock down. What could go wrong?”

  1. Brilliant and very recognizable…. The only difference between the both of us is that I entertain 3 kids on a daily basis. What btw is wonderful and a new dimension has born of being a father in the New Normal…. 🙏

    Thank you for sharing

  2. Hahahahah! That made me laugh out loud. I can totally relate to man alone syndrome! Great writing…that was a fun read, my man!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Scroll to Top